~ A time and Motion Study
[The Uranus-Pluto square is almost upon us and next week I will be putting on a suitable gruff voice. So I thought this week I would put on a hysterical falsetto voice…]
8 a.m. – Arise and have breakfast, read the Guardian
According to Sabra Ricci in “Lobster for Leos, Cookies for Capricorns” Sagittarians do well to have apples (for detox) and cinnamon (for lowering blood sugar), so I put them into porridge.
9 a.m. - Reply to daily email inbox: This takes half an hour because the computer is getting doddery, and keeps seizing up. This is distressing, knowing that all the research is stored on it.
9.30 a.m. – Cold Call no. 1:
“Hello this is just a courtesy call about your PPI…”
Me: “More like a discourtesy call. I don’t have a PPI” (Moon in Libra graces have just gone out of the window)
10 a.m. – A trip to the locally sourced Supermarket for provisions. Imagine my surprise when opening the vegetarian cabinet I find that Linda McCartney has produced some “fish free” king prawns!
10.30 a.m.: Cold Call no. 2:
“This is an Insurance Company. What would you do if the sky fell down?”
Me: “You are trying to employ fear tactics. I am trying to eliminate fear from my life!” (panicking at standing up to a Cold Caller).
11 a.m. - Start work on a new baby chart. Receiving a text about a new baby being born – There is definitely some sort of baby boom going on. Babies are being born at a faster rate than I am able to do their charts…
11.30 a.m. – Cold Call no. 3:
“Hallo Mam (a call from Mumbai) I am phoning about your credit card”
Me: “I have never had a credit card”
12 Noon – Break for lunch. A yoghurt designed to lower cholesterol
1 p.m. – Resume work on said baby chart
1.30 p.m. – Cold Caller no. 4 sounding like the same person as the 3rd call:
“Hallo Mam. I am worried about your computer”
“Well I’m not” (I am actually, but I am not going to admit it to him)
2 p.m. – Research the latest celebrity in the news just in case it is the hot topic next Sunday
2.30 p.m. – Cold Call no. 5:
“Is that Lana? How are you today? Are you aware that the government can help you with Solar Panels?”
Me: “Thanks. I already have Solar Panels. Can you help me with my obsession with Wind Turbines?”
Cold Caller: “Uh? That’s not on the script”
3 p.m. – Daily Meditation
3.30 p.m. – Cold Call no. 6:
“Hello Lana, or can I call you Lan for short?”
“Is that Jade from the Apprentice? I can honestly understand why Sir Alan fired you…And before you ask, I don’t have a credit card or a computer you’d be interested in, and I have Solar Panels.”
4 p.m. – Filing all the paperwork generated today
4.30 p.m. – Tea and Cake
5 p.m. – Research astrologically why so much paperwork was generated today
6 p.m. – Cook a gourmet meal of fish free king prawn curry
Hubby: “I’m sorry, I can’t possibly – “ (rushes out to the kitchen to make himself a cheese sandwich)
7 p.m. – Research why I received so many cold calls today. Thinks…Might do a blog about researching.
8 – 10 p.m. – Watch reality television (anything will do, I am a captive audience by then)
10 p.m. – Retire to bed, pondering the reasons for unproductiveness…
[I am sure other Astrologers are more efficient and I would welcome suggestions for improvement!]